Saturday, December 10, 2005

Please note that Lovely Little Girls will not be on the bill tonight.
We just learned of their cancellation last night.

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Please join us for our last live show of what was a very busy year. This will be our 19th performance in 2005, if I counted correctly... a new world record for us, to be sure. I believe that the following write-up explains the night better than I can...


"Our first annual Ramakwanzachristmakkuh Spook-tacular is cocked and loaded and aimed at a tiny red dot right between your eyes. Cancel whatever bullshit you've got planned for December 10 and take the kids on down to the Big Horse at Milwaukee and North for GAYS IN THE MILITARY'S Domestic Disturbance Number 17. We've called upon our Midwestern brothers and sisters in the Fellowship of Rock and assembled the best bill since Neil Young toured with Celtic Frost in 1991. SCARCITY OF TANKS, the brainchild of Poet/JOMFucker, Raconteur/Alan Bishop-biographer MATTHEW WASCOVICH will get things started with a blessed rage for order that will bring a hushed awe to the Horse that it hasn't seen since DIRTY JOHNNY streaked the place in September (Oh, he'll be there too, boys!). He will be backed by David Russell (ARKH), Bill Fuzzhead, Sammy Seriesous Goldberg and Steve Plastic Motherfucking Crimewave. Did I mention that your worst nightmare and secret fantasy BLOODYMINDED is going to be there for the sole purpose of blowing your puny mind out the back of your misshapen head? Mark says "Yeah," motherfuckers! Assuming there's anything left after the squelchers falll silent, Slab City's answer to the unasked question, LOVELY LITTLE GIRLS will be there to beckon you to the brink of madness with their queasy off-balance melodies. Don't fall off, but if you do (and you most assuredly will) Chicago'so Number One Rock Band, the Ike to our Tina, those truly sharp-dressed men, THE BILLY CARTER BAND happen to live on the stinking slimy surface so many miles beneath that brink and they will be more than happy to show you what it's like. After that, it might start to get a little crazy. Santa Claus is coming, and he's bringing Mrs. Claus, and she's bringing some naked reindeer, and they're bringing presents for everybody, and then GAYS IN THE MILTARY, are going to get all festive and tear that fucking place apart. Let me just say this, CHICAGO is going to be getting theirs! If you've never seen GitM, you picked the right night because they're going to be running lean and mean and debuting a LOT of brand new material as they gather steam for a grand finale that's guaranteed to leave a giant smoking crater in the diseased crotch of Wicker Park. Choke on this- To KRSNA, the whole world is a woman. Happy Hole-idays."